A look back...

In retrospect, I wish I had started this blog a month ago, but woulda, coulda, shoulda, right?  I'm going to try to sum up everything that's been going on with a quick timeline just to bring everyone up to speed.

• 7/31 - 8/8 - Al goes to urology appointment to satisfy the life insurance people who are insisting he have his "spongy kidney" evaluated before giving us the OK for him to be covered. Dr. Olsson discovers that Al's right testicle is much smaller and harder than the left. Al goes for an ultrasound.

• 8/9 - Dr. Olsson calls Al and says he needs to see him ASAP.  We make appointment for following evening.

• 8/10 - Sitting in the exam room, Dr Olsson talks to us about Al's testicular tumor.  I remember that he really never said the work "cancer" until I asked him about it.  I don't think they like to say the C word because it seems most people just shut down after hearing they have cancer.  I know I was feeling pretty numb.  He asked about the ultrasound done previously, from a few years back and we told him that we had never heard anything about it.  He said he would pull the records and review it.  Al and I can't even remember how long ago it was, just that nothing had come from it.  We both leave the office somewhat subdued.  Who do we tell? What do we tell them?  We scheduled Al's orchiectomy (testicle and spermatic cord removal) for two and a half weeks from today.  Al was to have a CT scan and lab work done to determine if the tumor had spread. 

• 8/19 - I left that night to head to Boston because I was flying out early the next morning to Kentucky for orientation for school.  I didn't want to leave him.  It crossed my mind just to stay home, snuggle up next to him and not let him go.  I could do school any time.  Now was the time I didn't want to leave my husband's side.  But he encouraged me to go.  I was teary (and somewhat embarrassed) when I spoke to my friend, Brandi, about missing Al while I was away at orientation.  I'm sure she was internally rolling her eyes at me but she didn't know what was going on at the time.

• 8/20 - Al has repeat ultrasound, blood work and CT scan.  I get a phone call from Al before boarding the bus to the campus.  He tells me that there are no tumor markers in his bloodwork and his CT scan came back clear.  I breath a huge sigh of relief and enjoy my week at orientation. 

• 8/29 - Surgery day!  I can tell Al is a little nervous, never having had any kind of operation before, because he snaps at me to get out of bed, he's so worried about getting there late.  We get there in plenty of time, check in and wait to be called to pre-op.  The nurse is super friendly and welcomes me in with him.  She escorts us to his "pod" and tells Al to change.  He looks so cute and vulnerable in his johnny!  They hook him up to the C/R monitor and watch his vitals, marveling at how low his pulse is.  At one point, as I'm rounding the corner from the bathroom, he says, "Hey Dani!  Look at this!" and I see that his heart rate is 38bpm!  We must have had about 10 people come over to "look" at Al's chart and comment on his low heart rate and ask if he's a runner.  Before the surgery, Dr. Olsson comes by to do his checks and informs us that there actually was lymph node involvement noted on the CT scan.  Whoa.  That came out of left field.  Not what we were expecting to hear right before they wheeled Al in.  Dr. Olsson believes that the lymph node involvement is big enough that Al will more than likely need chemo after the surgery.  A whole new ball of wax to wrap our minds around. Too soon, they ask me to head to the waiting room.  About 35 minutes last, Dr. Olsson comes out to tell me that Al is in recovery.  Almost three hours pass before they tell me he's ready to go.  Apparently he got lightheaded from the pain the first time he tried to get up and then he couldn't pee, so they finally said uncle and let him come home.  When I walked around the curtain in the PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit) he was sitting in the chair and he looked ok.  I helped him get changed into his comfy clothes and they wheeled him out.  He seemed in good spirits.  I think I drove the best I've ever driven on the way home that afternoon!  When we got home, I got him settled on the couch and went out to search for the only thing he said he wanted: Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.  I ended up going to two stores looking for it but what my baby wants, my baby gets!  I stopped at Steve and Jen's on the way home to give them an update.  I tell them everything that happened and now that chemo was on the table.  I'm not emotional, just matter of fact.  I've been in nurse mode since that first visit with Dr. Olsson and it's comfortable to me.  Later that evening, Steve comes over with a plate of grilled flank steak, brown rice and grilled asparagus for us.  Couldn't thank them enough for that!  Al spent the rest of the night on the couch where I slept, fitfully, with him until I went to our bed around 4:00 for a couple hours of restful sleep.   

• 9/4 - Follow up with Dr. Olsson. Explains how Al's tumor is staged and the possible treatment options available to us.  In the old staging days, he says that Al's cancer is Stage II.  It's a little more involved now and too much so for me to explain.  He doesn't think that radiation is even an option at this point because of the size of the lymph node involvement.  He refers us to a medical oncologist and we get an appointment for Friday.
• 9/7 - Appointment with Dr. Ahktar, medical oncologist.  I was NOT optimistic when we first entered this doctor's office and even less so when we entered the exam room.  First off, it's in the basement.  Secondly, they didn't take credit cards.  Thirdly, the exam room was so sparse but for an old 13" CRT tv hanging from the corner of the room and a very comfortable looking recliner plus the stool and exam table.  Oh, but there was a large picture window...looking out at a stone wall.  Fun.  My insecurities were put to rest when we met Dr. Ahktar.  Amicable, straightforward and intelligent.  He explained with no sugar coating what we could expect with chemo therapy.  No fun.  However, he did put radiation back on the table.  He was going to send Al for a PET scan to determine if there was any lung involvement and if not, then we would go the radiation route.  We left feeling both feeling a little shell shocked.  We were happy that radiation was back on the table but concerned and apprehensive (and in my case, a little scared) about what chemo would mean.

So, that's where we are at right now.  Al is scheduled for his PET scan on 9/11 and when the results are in, we'll have a better idea of what the plan is going to be for the next couple of months.